UCLA SPAANK’s Weblog

Yes that’s right we’re back!!!  And we’re back with a vengeance!  I am on a mission to write the most comically delightful and intriguing blog you have ever seen.  Why?  So that you’ll keep comin’ back absolutely aching for more.  Why?  So that as you are  entertained by my blinding wit, you will also be educated about the very real atrocities going on in North Korea.  

Let me start off with a disclaimer.  I am an individual writing on behalf of the SPAANK organization but the words professed on this blog do not necessarily reflect the values of SPAANK as an organization.  Aren’t you curious who I am?  Well you will never discover my secret identity.  Or maybe you will.  If you somehow find out that my last name is Bae and my first name is Lady.  Anyway now that we’re done with that legal stuff… onto the content!

TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!!!!!!!  

This is more than just an amazingly witty phrase concocted by the SPAANK staff to urge people to submit a film.  1) yeah we do want you to submit a film to our film contest but (2) we also want you to do what you can to raise awareness and fight human rights violations.  Your film doesn’t have to be about North Korea but if you create a supremely good/funny/heart warming/romantic short film that people will want to see then they’ll come out to the event and find out more about North Korea through the information provided that night.  Not only that but the money that is raised by admission fees will go to support organizations that help refugees, orphans and work to create progressive policy.  

DAMN!  Your short film can do all that?  Yes, my friends, yes it can.  So make the best decision of your life and submit a film.   On top of that, the Grand Prize is:  

5,000,000 Won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……which is equivalent to $500.  That is a lot of money, especially in these difficult economic times.  Think of everything you can do with that money!  You could start a business!  Buy a car!… no go for the home!  But if you are simpleton like me, get 500 bags of Hot Cheetos or 500 bagels or something.  

Seriously what do you have to lose?  Let me list all the benefits for y’all:

1.  You get to bond with friends and create the most meaningful piece of art you will probably ever make in your lifetime.

2.  You will receive instant fame and honor.  For generations on end you will be respected in the land for both creating a great film and doing something to help those that need it.  

3.  Uh… Money.  

Here are the Disadvantages of not submitting a film

1.  You’ll probably regret it for the rest of your life and then you’ll always think about the year 2009 as the year of failure, disappointment and regret.

2.  No Money.

3.  No girls/boys groveling at your feet or fame for generations on end.  

The choice is yours.  [Make a film.  Now.]

SOOOOO if you’re still not convinced, then… sorry if I make it sound like your life is meaningless if you don’t submit a film.  It’s still completely meaningful because we need your $5 admissions fee [which I'm supposed to say is a suggested donation] on the night of the show.  Jk… 

No but seriously support your friends, support the arts, support good causes, support life! love! liberty!  For complete details go to www.studentgroups.ucla.edu/spaank.  

Designed by Makoto Tachibana

Okay goodbye for now!  Until next time!

p.s.  I honestly do apologize if this post is disparaging.  People that are involved in human rights groups are supposed to be nice.  I’m just tired and trying to be funny so I can get a laugh… and get you to make a film… and come to our event…. but still not think we’re desperate and trying really hard to make this night a success…..b/c I’m not…….

But just to provide some visuals, here are some humble SPAANK staffers slaving away to raise money at our bake sale.

To provide some stats, it rained that day.  And staff members had to seek shelter from the rain by pushing the baked goods in shopping carts, hoping to wait out the rain.

But we are a persistent bunch and we stayed out as long as we could!  Our hard work paid off and we made a profit of $17.  

…Donations anyone?