UCLA SPAANK’s Weblog

I don’t know if you can consider this news but…

“(CNN) – North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il was reappointed Thursday as chairman of the National Defense Commission, which oversees the country’s military, according to the state-run news agency KCNA.

The election by the North Korean parliament was expected.”

Congrats Jong-Il, you’ve done it yet again.  Well anyway my roommate showed me this video of Little Jong-y making a public appearance for the first time in a while.  If you didn’t know he’s sick.  Probably very very sick.  There were rumors that he’s already dead but obviously… he’s not.  Thus he is able to make an appearance and…..clap.  Clap.  Sit.  Receive Praise.  Just a regular ol’ day for the big Jong-il

But dude, he’s lost a LOT of weight.  I honestly feel kind of mean saying this but his head looks way too heavy for his withered neck.  And his cheeks are deflated.  But he’s definitely still got his fro going on.  Can’t let his looks go completely to waste.  I heard Jong Il is really into his looks and buys only name brand sunglasses, always gets perms and etc.  Glad to know he’s (still) the Chairman of National Defense.  

I hate it when i am 1/2 way through writing a brilliant post and then my internet explorer goes funky on me and just closes [I'm writing this post at work where the computer is from 10,000 B.C. and I have to flinch any time someone walks by -jic its a supervisor].  This is so not good for my blood pressure.  I get scared so easily.  Anyway this is not about me.  What I originally said in the other post is:

Gee Williker, I am so excited for “Take Your Best Shot!”  No but seriously I am.  If you guys attended our event last year [Ignorance Is Bliss] you would recognize the man beneath this paper bag:

It is none other than the great Big Phony [haaaaaaaaahhhh - crowd cheering noise].  He has graciously accepted our invitation to join us this night so not only will you get to watch Grade A films, you’ll also get superb performances by the likes of Big Phony.  -www.bigphonymusic.com-  dude i don’t even need to talk about his music, it speaks for itself.  If you’ve never listened to his music, you have not yet experienced life at its full potential.

But wait, there’s still more.  Do you recognize this person?

well even if you don’t, you should know his name [b/c its written on the picture].  http://www.myspace.com/geunjin.  We are zo zo zooooooo lucky to be able to have this guy.  He’s got a unique voice and great musical style.  O moe na.  I pity the fool who is not coming to Take Your Best Shot on May 27th. 

THAT’S RIGHT, I JUST WENT OFFICIAL.  We have officially changed the date of our film contest from May 8th to May 27!!!!!!!  Now you’ll have more time to make a film and more time to tell your friends about coming to this spectacular life changing event. 

Unfortunately, due to this date change Projekt Newspeak – who was scheduled to perform – had to bow out bc of scheduling conflicts. 

Zey are so good!  You must check them out at www.projektnewspeak.com  they have been really supportive along the way and I just want to encourage you guys to attend their events and watch their videos.  Pure hilarium! 

Now that we have room for one more performance, stay tuned to find out who it’s going to be!  [even i don't know].  But remember kids, good and evil work in harmony.  Just my wisdom for the day. 

So y’all know about the missile launched by North Korea right?  I was watching the Korean news with my mom on Saturday and the media was a goin crazy about it.  Of course to me the newscaster sounded like “;kljwerjklsflksleimissilelsbookhan”

My mom explained what they were saying and she said that North Korea was claiming that they had launched a satellite because they needed to be able to have one just like other countries.  However, in order for it to be a satellite, at the tip of the missile, there needs to be an actual satellite in there that they’re trying to launch but it is doubtful that there was one.  If there is no satellite and if there’s anything else in the tip of the missile then it just simply becomes….a missile.  I feel like I just explained Missiles/Satellites for Dummies but… it helps me understand anyway.  

This image provided by DigitalGlobe and made available in London by Jane’s Defence Weekly, shows what is believed to be the exhaust trail and vehicle launched from Musudan-ni, North Korea.

“North Korea’s state media claimed Tuesday, April 7, 2009 that a rocket launch seen overseas largely as a technical failure will propel the country to greatness, while moves at the United Nations to punish Pyongyang remained mired in a lack of consensus. North Korea launched Sunday what it claims was a satellite that successfully entered orbit around the earth, defying international warnings that the move would violate U.N. resolutions and invite further censure.”

What will happen next?  Why is North Korea so delusional?  This is not a success.  But one thing I am amazed at is the fact that though they have such ridiculous thinking – believing Kim Il Sung created the world, saved North Korea,black outs are caused by American raids and not b/c of North Korean poverty etc. – they still have enough valid scientific knowledge to make rockets/missiles/etc.  Dude I bet rocket makers are like political gems.  Or maybe not.  Who knows.

Yes that’s right we’re back!!!  And we’re back with a vengeance!  I am on a mission to write the most comically delightful and intriguing blog you have ever seen.  Why?  So that you’ll keep comin’ back absolutely aching for more.  Why?  So that as you are  entertained by my blinding wit, you will also be educated about the very real atrocities going on in North Korea.  

Let me start off with a disclaimer.  I am an individual writing on behalf of the SPAANK organization but the words professed on this blog do not necessarily reflect the values of SPAANK as an organization.  Aren’t you curious who I am?  Well you will never discover my secret identity.  Or maybe you will.  If you somehow find out that my last name is Bae and my first name is Lady.  Anyway now that we’re done with that legal stuff… onto the content!

TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!!!!!!!  

This is more than just an amazingly witty phrase concocted by the SPAANK staff to urge people to submit a film.  1) yeah we do want you to submit a film to our film contest but (2) we also want you to do what you can to raise awareness and fight human rights violations.  Your film doesn’t have to be about North Korea but if you create a supremely good/funny/heart warming/romantic short film that people will want to see then they’ll come out to the event and find out more about North Korea through the information provided that night.  Not only that but the money that is raised by admission fees will go to support organizations that help refugees, orphans and work to create progressive policy.  

DAMN!  Your short film can do all that?  Yes, my friends, yes it can.  So make the best decision of your life and submit a film.   On top of that, the Grand Prize is:  

5,000,000 Won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……which is equivalent to $500.  That is a lot of money, especially in these difficult economic times.  Think of everything you can do with that money!  You could start a business!  Buy a car!… no go for the home!  But if you are simpleton like me, get 500 bags of Hot Cheetos or 500 bagels or something.  

Seriously what do you have to lose?  Let me list all the benefits for y’all:

1.  You get to bond with friends and create the most meaningful piece of art you will probably ever make in your lifetime.

2.  You will receive instant fame and honor.  For generations on end you will be respected in the land for both creating a great film and doing something to help those that need it.  

3.  Uh… Money.  

Here are the Disadvantages of not submitting a film

1.  You’ll probably regret it for the rest of your life and then you’ll always think about the year 2009 as the year of failure, disappointment and regret.

2.  No Money.

3.  No girls/boys groveling at your feet or fame for generations on end.  

The choice is yours.  [Make a film.  Now.]

SOOOOO if you’re still not convinced, then… sorry if I make it sound like your life is meaningless if you don’t submit a film.  It’s still completely meaningful because we need your $5 admissions fee [which I'm supposed to say is a suggested donation] on the night of the show.  Jk… 

No but seriously support your friends, support the arts, support good causes, support life! love! liberty!  For complete details go to www.studentgroups.ucla.edu/spaank.  

Designed by Makoto Tachibana

Okay goodbye for now!  Until next time!

p.s.  I honestly do apologize if this post is disparaging.  People that are involved in human rights groups are supposed to be nice.  I’m just tired and trying to be funny so I can get a laugh… and get you to make a film… and come to our event…. but still not think we’re desperate and trying really hard to make this night a success…..b/c I’m not…….

But just to provide some visuals, here are some humble SPAANK staffers slaving away to raise money at our bake sale.

To provide some stats, it rained that day.  And staff members had to seek shelter from the rain by pushing the baked goods in shopping carts, hoping to wait out the rain.

But we are a persistent bunch and we stayed out as long as we could!  Our hard work paid off and we made a profit of $17.  

…Donations anyone?